Clubs, Bubs, Duds, & Spuds!
by Toazzy-chan
Summary: What happens when Ino drags her best friend, Sakura Haruno, to a club and see a hot guy checking Sakura out? Throwing, confessions, confusion, ex-boy-toys,strangers, and randomness take place!


**A/N: This is my first real attempt at a pure crack fic. Flames are more than welcome. But positive reviews are loved by all and help inspire millions! Lolz! Okay...? Maybe not millions... Maybe its's just me... But still! This is the first of many stories I'm going to post. I need your help when it comes to knowing if it's good or crappy. So.....READ & REVIEW PLEASE!!!! THANX!!!**

**Sakura: You had cookies again didn't you?**

**Toazzy-chan: *Looks around innocently* No.....**

**Sakura: You suck at lying.**

**Toazzy-chan: Hey!**

**Ino: You have cookies in your hands, baka!**

**Toazzy-chan: *Stuffs cookies in mouth* imph oumpnh noumhpthoind!**

**Ino & Sakura: Translation= Toazzy-chan owns nothing!**

Ino and Sakura are at a random club in Konaha. Ino spotted a guy that looked in their general direction. She decided something just then.

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"Sakura? Look! That guy is totally checking you out!"

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"Ino. You totally need to get your eyes checked."

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"Sakura! I'm seriously serious! He's totally ogling you! You should totally wink at him or something! Show him you see him!"

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"How about not and call you crazy?"

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"Sakura Haruno! You go over there right now and flirt with that totally drool-worthy male! NOW!"

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"Ino Yamanaka. Go burn in the most firey inner pits of hell."

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That's how it happened. That's how she ended up being thrown across the hord of people. That how she landed in said male's lap.

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Sakura quickly stood up and fixed her skinny jeans and black tee. She quickly checked to make sure her pink hair was still in its mid-height ponytail with the bangs framing her face.

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He spoke.

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"I'm Sai."

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She froze and looked at him fully. Then she laughed and gave him a hug.

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"I'm Sakura Haruno. My crazy ding-bat friend on the other side of the room is Ino Yamanaka. Dude? You're so gay, it's almost unreal."

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He joined in her laughter and she explained further.

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"Ino told me you were checking me out and kick me over here literally to make me flirt with you! I had told her to go burn in the most firey pits of hell! Look at you! I mean come on! You're sexy as hell! But your look just screams out that you're gay!"

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He froze.

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"Wait. So that blonde you were with was not Deidara? Are you sure?"

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(A/N:Sry! I luv Deidei! But I couldn't resist making him gay for just this one little tiny crack story!)

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"Who?"

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"Nevermind."

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"So you're gay and looking for a guy named Deidara. Who just so happens to look like my best friend Ino. And that was why you were checking her out. When in turn, she thought you were checking me out and had no idea you were gay. In which case I was thrown across a mob of dancing drunk people to flirt with said gay guy only to find out he is truely gay and to have to turn around and make my way back through the throng of people in order to tell this whole thing to my best friend Ino, who is in fact a girl. In the end she will probably throw me at some other random gay dude, most likely your Deidara person and make me try again. This will continue for the rest of the night and probably for the rest of eternity, until I get a stable boyfriend. Or until Ino deems that I have been fucked repeatedly enough that I can move on with my life and career as a medic."

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He simply looked at her for a thoughtful second and then grabbed her hand. He lead her to a booth full of people and he shouted over the music to one of them. Sakura's mind stopped. As did her heart. "Sasuke. I'd like you to meet Saku...." Sai never got to finish his sentence.

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Sasuke looked like he was about to go crazy and rap her senseless, but Ino magically appeared. "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING WITH THE UCHIHA BASTARD?!?!?! SAKURA ANN HARUNO!!!!! I TOLD YOU TO FLIRT WITH THIS HOTTY!!!! NOT YOUR EX-BOY-TOY!!!!! NOW GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME AND START PLAYING WITH LITTLE MISTER SEXY PANTS!!!!!!"

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A small irritated reply came from Sakura. "Yamanaka Marie Ino. Sai is gay. Good bye" Those three sentences meant the end for poor Ino. She would not be getting Sakura out to the club again anytime soon and she most certainly would not be getting her to flirt at all again tonight. Not even with Sasuke.

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Ino fell face first into the ground. She was now forming a rather large bruise in the shape of a hand print on her neck. Sakura had successfully slapped Ino's neck, in turn causing her to do a face-plant. "Impressive." Ino growled at Shikamaru Nara's dry remark. "Pinkie got blondie to shut up."

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_Static fills the screen_

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_Next time on Animal Planet:_

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_Wild Pigs wreek havoc on less than innocent civilians.._

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_Static fills the screen again_

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Shikamaru is now unconcious. Ino is being hauled off by animal control. The club has been destroyed.

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Will Sai ever find Deidara?

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Will Sasuke ever get to be Sakura's boy-toy again?

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Will Sakura ever get laid?

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Will Sakura ever get a stable boyfriend?

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Will Ino be let go by Animal Patrol?

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Will Shikamaru ever recover from the blunt testicular trama he just received from Ino's foot?

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Find out next time on: Clubs, Bubs, Duds, & Spuds!

Fin


End file.
